Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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