bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
