I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
