I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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