No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
