Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
