Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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