people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
