I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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