loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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