At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
