so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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