the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
