the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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