she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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