I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize