I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I enjoy the company of your penis
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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