So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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