i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
