I heard we made out
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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