It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need moral support for this bender
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
