I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
