Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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