What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
