I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
