No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
