My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
