So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
