peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
