fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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