this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
