You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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