Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
