So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
