in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
