You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize