is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize