So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
