Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
