ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
we made out on top of his cat.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
