I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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