I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize