Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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