This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
