all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
