Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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