PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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