i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
