I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
