um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
