i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I look excited, but its just a facade.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize