Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
