My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
