He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
