Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We need to get me chipped asap
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
