farters have to be the big spoon...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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