I'm really into asian looking animals
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
