I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize