Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
