Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My dad just said "fuck circus"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
