what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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